iron fisted

People grow up some times carrying the hurts caused to them in their past. Some of those pains and hurts are traumatic enough to alter a persons perceptions and feelings of others around them. Often as children were told, "you're not strong enough", "not fast enough", "not pretty enough, "not handsome enough" , etc. These types of comments cut deep into someone's soul especially if you're a child being told this. A child's parent(s) is supposed to be creste a sense of safety for their child or children to be able express themselves and their feelings. Often times this important and crucial part of parent/child relationship doesn't happen. I feel this leaves the child(ren) feeling as if they're rejected and made to feel as if they are less than. This can lead to resentment and anger that can manifest in any form. For instance addictions (any type), lashing out, verbally abusive, condescending, etc often stem from feelings of insecurity and not feeling that they are enough and not receiving unconditional love. I think that is how learning to suppress their feelings and emotions takes root. As adults then they become a type of avoidant because as children, the parent(s) that were supposed to nurture and teach the child how to process their feelings and emotions failed them.