unaffectionate affection

There are people out there that cannot express emotions or feelings because of past pain and/or trauma in their past. Sadly, I believe that some develop the mentality that it is okay to make others feel pain by emotionally, affectionately and intimately with drawing from people or partners. I am not sure if they are oblivious to the fact that doing this is hurtful and it is not an acceptable behavior. What gives any one the right to emotionally and physically withdraw and to toy with someone’s feelings, hopes, and expectations of what that relationship was supposed to be or develop into. In essence, these individuals are engaging in mental and emotional abuse. The person on the receiving end at some point was led to believe that the were on the same page at wanting a meaningful and deeper relationship. I feel that often, these behaviors happens because they lack the skills to process their feelings and emotions in a healthy way. So they act out by ghosting, ignoring, abandoning that person and purposefully keeping busy to avoid having any contact with them. On top of that they will often gaslight the other person by telling them they are too emotional and it’s in their head, essentially invalidating their feelings when they confronting this person about their behavior. I think the root of the problem with these people is fear, fear of being hurt, abandoned and being alone. I just don’t understand if that’s what they fear why act and behave in that away that produces that outcome. They are their worst enemy because they have a person willing to love them and to be there for them and all they can do is push people away with this behavior to then blame others for their own created pain and anguish. I imagine past relationships didn’t last for that reason and it shows me that this behavior becomes a pattern of which they cause their own drama and chaos.