self-sabotage

What does self-sabotaging look like in a relationship? One partner or maybe both may avoid conflict where they deny that any problems exist or just a refusal to talk through issues. Secondly, passive-aggression may be exhibited where someone expresses negative feelings in a indirect manor. Thirdly, stonewalling or giving the silent treatment where affection and/or communication is withheld from a partner. Other behaviors might be an avoidance of intimacy by not being emotionally or physically available to your partner. Additionally, pushing a partner away by creating emotional, mental and physical distance and sometimes used as a cruel way to "test" a partners commitment. These individuals lack vulnerability, they hide their feelings and fears from the partner. Furthermore, there's hesitation to commit and never fully invest emotionally, physically or mentally in the relationship. Also, they may engage in cheating to force their partners to do their dirty work by trying to cause the partner to end the relationship. Their avoidance behavior wisels them out of accepting accountability for their actions. They have difficulty trusting and are constantly looking for hidden motives from their partners. These self-sabotaging individuals have an unhealthy coping mechanism. At times, substance abuse or other unhealthy habits is used as a way to cope with relationship problems or perceived problems. They might also have controlling behaviors such as trying to control a partner's actions. I think they do this because they lack self-esteem, have a feeling of unworthiness to have the experience of happiness and feeling unworthy of having a person to share a life with. My final thoughts on this is that these individuals are leaving in their wake, a trail of pain, hurt, dissappointment not only to themselves but to the partner they are involved with and this a cycle they are viciously stuck in.