Revelations

God revealed the truth about a situation that I've been praying, crying and seeking clarity on. I've been in a relationship that hasn't grown or progressed, if anything it has regressed. When I entered into my relationship I don't think it was NEVER my partners desire to have a committed relationship but rather wanted a relationship of convenience. We had met on a dating site and the written information, I don't belive it was written by them or was just false information, which can explain the "deer in headlight" look when I referenced something from it. The greatest reveal to me was the realization that I am just an option or a place holder for this person until the next "shinny person" that catches their eye. This might have something to do as to why they were "hot" and "cold" and exhibiting other toxic behaviors. Perhaps this is why there was a refusal to connect with me on any level, just put in barely minimal effort into me and this relationship. There was a total withdrawal from me and the relationship that was deeply hurtful. I am not har to love, I want reciprocation, emotional availability, intimacy sexual and non-sexual and to provide clarity of the direction the relationship was headed in. I wanted to be with someone to share my life with and for them to want to share theirs with me. I felt that I was the only one putting effort , I felt that I was being led on and placed on a emotional roller coaster that I never asked to go on. It boggles my mind that someone could be cold, calculated and use me for their personal gains and fulfillment. In which may be the main reason I was told that I wasn't their priority. I deserve to be treated with honesty, transparency, respect and loyalty that will lead to a full commitment. I am a precious rare gem, it’s a privilege to be allowed into my life I don’t appreciate being treated like a toy or play thing that then gets tossed when tired of playing with it. Based on all combined actions, it appears to me that there has never been any love or desire for me, nor any intention to fully commit to me and the relationship. I am so grateful for this revelation and now their character is clear and I now know where I stand in this person's life.