healing time

Most of us don't think about what it takes to heal from a past trauma, betrayal or abandonment. Although, the circumstances of the trauma differ from person to person we still share the common denominator which is the pain. Everyone's healing process is different for every one depending on the severity of the trauma. Trauma can encompass anything, tradegy or a very traumatic experience. In my life I have endured many traumatic and tragic moments. They were very painful and some were very difficult to cope with. You never really stop the pain but with time you do learn to live with the pain, in which over time lessens the sting from it. There are times where you come across people that don't understand the depth of the loss and/or pain and they will often comment things like, "it'll get better", or "you'll just have to get over it", not realizing that you never get over it and the pain never goes away. The passage of time only lessens the sting of that loss or pain. You do have to make a conscious choice to work through the pain. For myself, I began talking more about it and expressing the emotions that went with it. Sometimes the emotions I expressed was anger, crying, confussion, guilt and regrets. Everyone's coping of these situations vastly vary. Some may start drinking, taking drugs, delve into porn or engage in risky situations as a way to hide the pain felt or feel. In reality those as sef destructive behaviors that if out-of-control, will not only affect the individual but may affect relationships wheter friendships, romatic or family. Those behaviors in reality cause isolation because now guilt and shame sets in and they will often introvert themselves and distance themselves physically and emotionally from people, fearful that people will find out and for fear of being judged by them.